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About Me



Ryan Brown is a 20 year old female who enjoys witty retorts, long train rides, and black coffee. She is sexually attracted to writing talent and dislikes bio statements that provide actually useful information.

She is also given to unnecessarily subdividing her life, and therefore blogs about her travels at a separate location:
Ryan Goes Places

All comments--loving, hating, and otherwise--should be directed to rlb30 at duke.edu


From the Archives

My Weekend as a Freshman
Ryan at the DNC
To the Crushes of Christmas Past
Story Time
Where's My Neck Brace?
On July 4ths

My Real(er) Writing

Learning How to Elect a President
Denver Post column, Sept. 2008

Things We Have Forgotten
short story, February 2008 (p. 6)

At the End of the World
short story, December 2006

Never Enough
creative nonfiction (excerpt), April 2008



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Where's my neck brace?

One of my favorite things about Whitesburg is its weekly newspaper, the Mountain Eagle. Every week, the paper runs a full page of anonymous community grievances on any and every topic. It’s called “Speak Your Piece” and the subheading reads, “tell us what’s on your mind. No need to give your name.” Then it lists a phone number where you can call and record your own message to be transcribed and put in the paper the next week. People can talk about politics, community issues, personal problems, whatever. I could try to explain this whole phenomenon more, but I think it’s best to just let the content speak for itself. These are real, unedited examples from past issues.

Stephen loves Crystal, not Heather. I found me a real woman. Crystal is a real woman.
***
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have that Google search thing on my computer. I typed in the name of my favorite country singer, Ty Herndon. Boy was I surprised to find out about his arrest record from 1997. I am so disappointed. 
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I want to say something about the ducks around Dairy Queen. I like going to Dairy Queen and eating, but those ducks make me sick. I wish someone could do something about them. Thank you.
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Why are people so stupid in Letcher county? They’re either drug dealers, hoochies, or potheads. They can’t get anything straight.
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To a certain guy on Thornton: I think it’s a shame you let your son sleep with his stepsister. And since they broke up he’s sleeping with his cousin. What’s up with that? I think that’s a rotten shame. That’s the kind of thing that makes Kentucky people look bad. It’s called the Inbred State because of people like that. See if you can solve the problem. If you do, let me know in Speak Your Piece.
***
I just wonder when our local cable system is going to put on some good wrestling. I think it’s time we get something new. I’m tired of them taking the wrestling off and putting boxing on. Why can’t they leave stuff alone on ESPN and let us wrestling fans watch what we want to watch?
***
Hey, Preacher, when you go through the woods coon hunting and throwing down Dr Pepper cans you are not a very good Christian. The Lord doesn’t like you to litter his earth.
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I want to let all of the females in Letcher County know that Jeff Jr. is taken.
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Where’s my neck brace?
 
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